Rewind, please?

I didn’t sit and watch the snow fall on Sunday, and there’s no rewind button.  I watched it during lunch; it was fast and furious.  I looked out the window every so often all afternoon, but I got caught up trying to load a pc game that Ben got for Christmas.  Blazing Angels.  Vista and the game do not agree on some protection mechanism, something about unsigned drivers or something.  I spent hours researching this issue on the internet, trying the “fixes” suggesting and waiting on the computer to reboot (again, and again, and again) to see if it had worked.  I finally got the game actually loaded on my computer… this took me about five hours altogether.  Meanwhile it just kept snowing.

Snow in Charleston, South Carolina is a VERY big deal.  I love snow!  It makes the whole day better, in my opinion.  Sometime mid-afternoon, Ben came through the kitchen (where I was working on the computer) and said, “I would never have believed how boring snow could be.”  And I knew what he meant, as I’d thought it myself a time or two.  “It’s because it isn’t productive,” I answered.  It wasn’t accumulating.  It snowed for hours, but none of it was sticking.  So it felt a little, oh I don’t know, disappointing.  Empty.  Unproductive.  Can you say that about snow?

The trouble is, life shouldn’t just be measured by productivity, yet how often do I do this?  I spent the whole afternoon trying to fix my child’s Christmas wish, while the rare and wonderful Charleston snow fell.  Terry had made a cozy fire; we were warm and safe.  I should have snuggled up next to Terry on the love-seat and just watched it and the fire.  But I was driven to be productive, to get this thing done, to make Ben’s wish come true, to get something done.  Some days I am present, just enjoying what is without trying to reach towards what is to come.  But why, oh why, do I still miss some of these precious moments when I could have savored them, drank in their wonder, let the rest of life wait for a bit?  I can’t go back and watch it snow.

After dark, Terry went out on the front porch and called back to me.  It was snowing again and this time, it was accumulating.  We excitedly called the boys to come and see and snapped photos of our proud little dusting.  We were thrilled that it was finally staying around, not dissolving within seconds of landing on the ground.  It was, well, productive. 

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About Tammy Feil

Happily married to Terry Feil since 1994, mother of two boys. My husband, Terry, is Pastor of Families and Students at Riverbluff Church in North Charleston, SC.
This entry was posted in Personal Growth, Slowing Down and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Rewind, please?

  1. Ty Hartley says:

    Very well written. I do the same thing. I always have to be productive and never stop to see God’s blessing all around me.

    Like

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